Poetry Corner with Ivy and Friends: Poet of the day Rachael Derheim

GETTING TO KNOW THE POET

Tell us a little bit about yourself, Rachael.

I am 37 and was born on July 10th, 1980. I am a Florida girl all the way. I have overcome a monstrosity of traumatic events in my life. Which began at the young innocent age of 4. The older I grew, the more that I withdrew from everyone, including my family. I didn't know how to cope with what I had been through. It wasn't until my 7th grade year that I had my first breakdown. We were assigned to do a book report from a book of our choosing. It just so happened that the book I had chosen was about a little girl who went through the exact same thing that I had. 
I later then was married and divorced twice. Both of which were severely abusive in the worst ways. 
June 27th of 2016, I was in what should have been a fatal head on car accident. Which has now changed my life in every way. But it has also humbled me and made me grateful.

What inspires you to write poetry?

I write as a coping mechanism. It all started as a means for me to put into words what I was feeling inside my mind, due to the severe anxiety, depression and PTSD that I struggle with on a daily basis. In my writing I am very raw and vulnerable because I use my very own personal life experiences, trials and tribulations that I have been through. Which is why alot of my writing is on the darker side and a bit emotional. I am not, nor have I ever had any special classes for any of my writing, drawing or painting. I just dig into my emotions and let it flow from within.

When people read your poetry, what is it that you would like or hope they understand about you through your words?

I am not sure that I write for anyone to understand me at all. For me it is really much deeper than that. I think that what I write is dark and is about things that society has basically told us not to talk about, or that it is wrong or shameful, and is about things that they try to cover up. Such as abuse, or sexual abuse being the forbidden one in particular. So many people in this world go through these very things, and yet they feel so alone and lost in their feelings, all due to society making us feel as though somehow it is our fault that these horrific things happened. So I write what I write, and use my experiences to let such people know that they are not alone at all, and that it is okay to reach out and talk about these things.
I write my poems to spark a bit of hope in others that have gone through or are going through things in life, and to give them the courage to continue their journeys and to keep living. And furthermore, I write so that more people understand and become more aware that every single person battles a raging storm inside. And sometimes we are blind to their storms and tend to pass judgement when we should not. So it is a reminder to us all to be a little kinder and to not judge a book by it's cover.

POETRY BY RACHAEL DERHEIM

This one is my favorite that I have written...

🖤 I Am A Murderer by Rachael Derheim 🖤

I am a murderer.

For I killed her.

Her, the sad little girl hiding within me.

I had to give her peace.

I am a murderer.

For I killed her.

Her, the girl who's innocence was taken away.

I had to bury her deep.

I am a murderer.

For I killed her.

Her, the woman who was beaten and bruised.

I had to lift and heal her body and her heart.

I am a murderer.

For I killed her.

Her, the shattered fragile woman inside me.

I had to glue her pieces together again.

I am a murderer.

For I killed her.

Her, the woman who couldn't look in the mirror.

I had to open her eyes so she could see her beauty.

I am a murderer.

For I killed her.

Her, the woman who was lost.

I had to find her to show her, her worth.

I am a murderer.

But when I killed her,

The woman in me was reborn.

For she became a warrior.

I had to.

I am a murderer.

🖤 Dark Peace by Rachael Derheim 🖤

She sits in the darkness alone,

As her mind wanders To the unknown.

She begins to weep,

Because she can feel the shadows of her past,

Approach her so very fast.

She can't seem to break free,

Even when she takes a knee.

She pleads for help,

But her weary voice is merely a yelp.

As if a razor is cutting into her deep,

The words of her past slice through her.

Another tear stains her cheek,

But she doesn't make a peep.

As she no longer feels the pain,

For she has become so numb.

She watches,

As she pushes the razor across her wrist,

And as the blood begins to flow,

She finally feels peace,

Now that she has set herself free...

🖤 Pieces of Me by Rachael Derheim 🖤

As I get ready for bed,
I can't help, but to feel this is just another night of
sleepless dred.

I crawl in bed to pray,
But my mind wanders to a story,
That leads my heart astray.

I drift away to my past,
And oh so fast.

To a time, before you took my innocence.

To a time, when I believed true love exist.

And my esteem,
Flowed through me,
Like a mighty stream.

My life was a wonderous dream.

I could look at myself,
And I could see my beauty.

It was as if I,
Was a masterpiece.

So very colorful,
I was like the Golden Archangel.

Then along you came,
And set my heart aflame.

But instead of love being exemplifying,
It was agonizing.

Burning abrasions on my soul.
You enslaved me,
with your aggressive control.

And through your affliction,
I gave you all of my affection.

But, oh, how it took it's toll.

Because like old art,
I became fragile,
And I began to fall apart.

I started losing pieces of me,
And seeing differences.

You were my Zeus,
In an enraged sea,
And all I wanted ,
was for you to
seduce,
Me.

Through your obtuse abuse,
You unknowingly,
tied my noose.

My broken and fallen pieces were fading,
I felt inside,
I was dying.

The bruises and gashes you left on me,
Were deeper than my flesh,
And we're as dark as coal,
on a miner's vest.

I stared at my reflection, for days in the mirror,
And all I felt was inferior.

Your broken promises,
Were the art,
To my token of damages.

In time,
As if it was a role for you to play,
You became a troll,
And hit me again.

Once, Twice, Thrice...

The pain was sharp,
Like that of a carnal cannibal,
Feeding on what was left of my heart.

Feeding as if it was,
Sweet filled puzzle pieces,
That you didn't want me to put back together.

Through tear filled eyes,
I begged,
For it all to end.
For I was,
Too tired to make
a mend.

But, in my moment of despair,
I suddenly became aware,
That I had an extreme strength inside of me.
And it was, my time to blissfully redeem.

So, in that moment,
I became tough.
Because I decided,
I had had enough.

And the broken pieces of me,
became so colorful and artful.
I began to see myself,
And truly admire,
Each lively piece as I bonded them adequately back together with love.

And for the first time since this agony,
I saw my beauty,
My art,
My colors,
My worth,
My strength,
My purpose.
I saw me!

That's when I truly understood the beauty of the pieces of me!!

THE POETS FAVORITE POEM

Poet Rachael Derheim was asked to share one of her favorite poems and she chose to share The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. Here is why

What is it about, The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, that makes it your favorite poem?

It is deep, raw, and speaks of  the darkness of love lost...

To read The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe click here 

THANK YOU! 

I would like to Thank Poet Rachael Derheim for sharing alittle bit about herself and giving us all the opportunity to read her beautiful poetry. Rachael, your words are deep, dark, beautiful and very touching. I hope you do very far in this writing journey. Your words are powerful and will and have touched many. Bravo! 

If you enjoyed reading Rachael's poetry and crave more, follow the Wattpad link. I don't think this is the last of her. It's just the beginning. 

Follow on Wattpad. 

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